Mexican president commissions his own narco-corrido in hopes of raising approval rating
By ONANTZIN News
2015-08-10
Mexico City, MX -- After watching his approval rating sink to Donald Trump levels amongst Mexicans, president Enrique Peña Nieto is turning to narco-corridos in the hopes that the genre can give him a boost in popularity by highlighting his many exploits against those who have stood in his way.
Drawing from a long history of standing up for the rights of himself and his friends, while simultaneously crushing any opponent, the president believes that his personal story is a perfect fit for the corridor genre, which idolizes toughness, attitude, violence, drugs, and a I-don't-give-a-shit mentality that steamrolls past anyone who steps in the way.
Based on the last 2 years alone, the president believes he has enough personal experience to challenge any of the famous criminal figures of the last century who are idolized in corridos, including El Jefe de Jefes and El Chapo himself. Altogether, he anticipates enough material to fill an encyclopedia of the baddest, most hardcore stories ever turned to corridos.
"You want to talk about strong-arming people, eliminating opponents, killing people en-masse and disappearing entire communities? Well, let me tell you that no one has done it better than me," said Peña Nieto through a translator. "Corridos idolize narcos because those guys control a small territory in some states and kill a few people, but just wait till the people hear about how much territory and drugs my army controls. Not to mention how many people we have killed because they stood in our way. After my corrido gets out, the people won't believe how much they've loved me all along."
Popular acts such as Voz de Mando and Gerardo Ortiz are said to be high on the president's list because of their ability to take criminal figures in Mexico and turn them into local heroes revered by the people. Los Tigres del Norte are said to be questionable, given that their age puts them at a significant disadvantage with today's youth. Nonetheless, they have not been eliminated from the list -- the hope being that they may have another "Camelia la Tejana" somewhere in there.
Political opponents have criticized the move as a desperate attempt to win over the people. A move that can easily backfire if he doesn't play his cards right, similar to his last attempt, according to La Reforma editor Miguel Vasquez.
"The last time didn't go very well -- with the people or with his wife," stated Vasquez.
In March, the president's approval rating stood at 39 percent, then dropped to 34 percent in July after news of the escape from prison by Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán embarrassed Peña Nieto and highlighted his incompetence.
In response, the president tried to improve his ratings by offering Mexicans the opportunity to re-live their favorite novela scenes from La Dueña alongside his wife, who was the lead character in the novela. Touring his wife across the country and putting on elaborate shows in theatres, the attempt backfired when people showed up in overwhelming numbers and were unable to secure seats to the shows, which infuriated Mexicans even more, resulting in calls for Peña Nieto's resignation.
In turning to corridos, the president hopes to tap into his tough, nefarious side to gain street-cred in the eyes of the Mexican people. In the past few years, corridos have elevated the status of El Chapo to that of a local Robin Hood, but the president says that El Chapo is nothing compared to him.
"El Chapo has nothing on me. In fact, I helped him escape. There, I said it! Put that in a corrido," said Pena Nieto.