California Republican caught vandalizing Navy ship recently named after Cesar Chavez
By ONANTZIN News
2011-05-24
Rep Duncan Hunter, a member of the House Armed Services Committee, has been arrested for vandalizing a US Navy cargo ship that was recently named after Cesar Chavez, the late founder of United Farm Workers and former member of the US Navy. Rep Hunter, a hater of common sense and former Marine himself, is said to have gone off his medication several days ago in outrage with the Navy's decision to name the cargo ship after Cesar Chavez instead of him.
Hunter was arrested along with two high school graffiti artists this morning. Apparently, he had hired the two artists to carry out the vandalism, but was enraged when one of the publicly educated boys misspelled his name and wrote "Dunkins ship" instead of "Duncan's ship" right above Cesar Chavez's name, which they had crossed out with red spray paint. This lead him to visit the ship a few hours after the boys had vandalized it, erase his misspelled name, and write "D Hun's ship" instead.
Even after a slew of incriminating evidence, the former member of the House of Representatives adamantly denied that he was the one who crossed out Cesar Chavez's name, pointing to a conspiracy by gays and left wing nuts to make him look foolish.
"It is widely known that he wanted the Navy to name the ship after him – in recognition for his service as a Marine in Iraq and Afghanistan - but no one expected him to take such drastic actions", said the arresting officer, who caught Rep Hunter with spray cans, brushes, fresh paint marks on his clothes, and a VIP pass to O-Bar in Santa Monica – the gayest bar in West Los Angeles(not that there's anything wrong with it).
Rep Hunter faces 2 days in prison, 120 hours of community service, a judge order to get back on his medication, an order to pay the two high school boys for their work – legal or illegal, and a state order to stop being such a hater against Cesar Chavez and progress.