CONCACAF makes last minute change, says Gold Cup final will be played on Donovan's forehead instead of Rose Bowl
By ONANTZIN News
2011-06-21
Pasadena, CA -- Overwhelmed by unprecedented demand for tickets to the Gold Cup Final on June 25th, CONCACAF announced this morning that they had come to an agreement with the four remaining teams to move the final game from the Rose Bowl to a venue with more capacity.
Any other year, the Rose Bowl's 93,000 capacity would have been more than adequate to host the biannual tournament, but this year, with anything Chicharito selling faster than gorditas sprinkled with crack - and Mexicans just about willing to bet their first born on Mexico reaching the final – the demand was more than double the stadiums' seat capacity; therefore, in order to seat the close to 200,000 expected attendees, CONCACAF announced that instead of the Rose Bowl, the Gold Cup final would be played on Landon Donovan's forehead.
According to venuefacts.org, Landon Donovan's forehead boasts a surface area so massive, it can seat up to 300,000 people, and is expected to continue growing. "It was the right move - we just couldn't afford to miss out on all those extra ticket sales", said CONCACAF's president, who already reserved the coveted hairline section for CONCACAF officials.
No details were released on the contract negotiations between CONCACAF and Donovan, but unofficial sources say the income he'll receive is more than enough to show him just how valuable that shinny forehead of his is.