Univision's CEO position: The one job Hispanics would rather let a white guy have
By ONANTZIN News
2011-06-30
New York, NY -- Randy Falco was brimming with joy yesterday after beating out five Hispanics for the top job of CEO at Univision, the most popular Spanish-language television network. As strange as it may seem, however, Hispanics were actually happy that a white man got the job.
Falco, age 57, is the latest in a string of white men to beat out Hispanics and take the CEO job at Univision, but according to Aldo Vasquez, one of the interviewees Randy Falco beat out, the Hispanic interviewees didn't actually want the job and are perfectly happy letting a white guy take it.
"Univision is held in such low regard in the Hispanic community, they can't get one single Hispanic outside their offices to submit a Resume and apply for the CEO position, so they pay people like us to interview and make the position look attractive to others. We know we won't get the job, and that's great because we don't want it. Anyone who is familiar with Univision's horrendous shows (outside of one or two good novelas) can understand where we Hispanics are coming from", stated Vasquez.
Apparently, contrary to Univision's pompous belief that they own the Hispanic audience, the TV network is the laughing stock among Hispanics, who say any of them would be crazy to take the job at a network that appears to be run by mindless monkeys.
"Sure, they have good ratings, but do you think Hispanics knowingly kill brain cells by watching clowns riding around in bicycles all day? or by watching extravagant talk show hosts sputtering mindless jokes? Millions of Hispanics, those who don't speak English, sit through those wretched shows because there isn't anything better to watch on the other Spanish channels", added Vasquez.
"As long as we have integrity, they'll have to continue getting misinformed white guys, who don't know any better, to run their absurd network and continue insulting the Hispanic population's intelligence with their one-dimensional programming".
Whether or not Randy Falco is aware that he beat five impersonators for the job of CEO is not known, but it probably won't make a difference, given that Falco is already enthusiastically looking for ad space to promote Univision's new TV show: A five hour Saturday special, where an impressive three clowns ride around on a skateboard as a gorgeous, half-naked woman chases them and a half-naked pervert chases her – all this while a demented monkey brings the show together by throwing banana peels at the camera.
