Republicans accuse Hurricane Irene of being anti-American - vow revenge against Mother Nature
By ONANTZIN News
2011-08-26
New York, NY -- In a daring move today, Republicans denounced Hurricane Irene for being anti-American and vowed revenge if the storm system does not change it's projected trajectory across the Northeast.
During a televised statement this morning, House Speaker John Boehnor warned the category 3 hurricane and its accomplice, mother nature, that America will no longer tolerate unwanted storm systems.
"Our patience with Mother Nature is severely frayed, and we can no longer sit idly while reckless hurricanes ravage our God-given land", stated Boehnor. "If Hurricane Irene does not change its course, we will be forced to nuke the hell out of it."
The decision to stand up to the powerful hurricane was made after days of pressure from Tea Party members; the ultra conservative group had been accusing the storm system of purposely morphing from a tropical storm into a hurricane only after clearing the Caribbean and setting its course for the US – a move they called antagonistic and racist.
Hurricane Irene has until Saturday at Noon to back off its attack against the United States. If no action has been taken by then, Republicans promise to unleash hell on earth against the Hurricane and it's facilitator, mother nature.
