Ten reasons why immigrants should never have moved to Alabama in the first place
By ONANTZIN News
2011-10-11
While most people are upset with Alabama's overtly racist immigration law, we do not hold such judgment for our challenged friend down south. After all, it's no big secret that Alabamians hate what they do not understand (e.g., science, facts, colored people). Instead, we are upset at the immigrants for their questionable decision to move to Alabama in the first place.
Just what was going through their minds before they said, "Vamonos pa' Alabama, guey," we do not know. What we do know, however, is that they did very little research on the matter; otherwise, they would have found, somewhere along the way, at least one of the following 10 reasons why Alabama is not quite the best place for immigrants:
1) It's Alabama, stupid!
2) Even Black people are racist there.
3) "Sweet home Alabama" was not written with immigrants in mind.
4) Despite what people say down there, Jim Crow is not their whiskey version of Jose Cuervo.
5) Forest Gump is the smartest man that Alabama has ever produced.
6) Immigrants get paid in pesos in Alabama.
7) 2 + 2 = 5 down there.
8) Along those lines, Alabamians think getting rid of 3% of the population will fix 10% unemployment.
9) Alabama is the only state that, if it ever attempted to, would be allowed to secede from the nation.
10) Black Alabamians warned, over and over, "aqui no bueno idea, amigo."